Sep 29, 2007

mah dream house...

Having a beautiful and clean house was one of my frustrations... I never experienced living in a presentable house. I don't intend to have a very expensive and big house. But I want a clean and presentable one.

To be honest, I never had a house like this. My father owns an auto shop and he works just in our yard. I've nothing against his work or business. But in my own opinion, he should still consider the cleanliness of our house. Our looks like a junk shop. There are lots or wastes scattered around our yard... and I hate to see it. It pains me whenever I hear never comments from my friends. Even if some of our guest don't give positive or negative comment, I still feel ashamed.

Because your home reflects your personality.

We tried to throw some of the wastes in our house. But we were shocked when my father put it back. How I hate it! Even if our house is very simple, I wanted it to be clean because that's the most important thing. Sometimes, I am very hesitant to bring or invite my friends at home.

That's why I said to myself that when I have my own house in the future, I will see to it that my house is very clean. I don't care whether my house is very small as long as it is clean...

Just wanted to share it with you guys... hehe

Sep 27, 2007


Giving your resignation letter to your boss is really hard especially when your boss has treated you so kind. But sometimes we have to make a very difficult decision which is to resign because we found a much better opportunity. I know it's hard to leave a company that you used to enjoy to work with but then if you stay in your company, there might be regrets in the future... the what ifs...

Tonight, I just talked to my boss and gave to him my resignation letter. Honestly, I still want to stay in his company because I enjoy working in his company a lot. The work is very easy and I don't find any difficulties in there. But then, my profession is a nurse so I have to pursue my career as a nurse. I know that there much better oppotunities if I pursue my real profession.

I'm already attached with my students. I'm going to miss them a lot because they somehow make me happy even if I'm having hard times teaching them. Sometimes, I consider them as my outlet when I'm sad. I can forget my problems when I talk to them because I have to show them that I'm happy and I'm in the mood to teach them even if it's not in order to drive their interest to study.

I'm only working as a part-time online English teacher but I didn't know that my boss is already planning to change my status into full-time. Oh! I feel like I wanted to stay but then my mother is also forcing me to resign in this work since I have to apply to a hospital to work as a nurse. My mom also fears about the work schedule because my work ends at 11:00 in the evening and that time is very dangerous.

Well... I really have to make the tough decision. I really have to choose only one. I like to pursue them both. I'm thinking right now if I'll just work here until December and then apply to a hospital by January since it's really hard to find a hospital this season because this season is not the ideal time to apply for a hospital.

I hope I will be happy to whatever decision I will make. I'm so tired of thinking and thinking about a lot of problems. It feels uneasy if there's always bugging in your mind..,. right???

I really do hope that I will still be happy for whatever the outcome is... I hope there would be no regrets....

my elementary years...

I was already seven years old when I entered school... I started from Kindergarten II... I wasn't accepted in School of Saint Anthony (which was one of my regrets because that school was known to be the school of intelligent people.)I was enrolled in a public since there was no choice and the classes are already starting...

At first, I didn't like to study because I was a very timid child. I was afraid to talk with my other classmate and I was even shy to talk with my teacher. I was always along during my first two weeks. But then I was able to meet some new friends. I even liked school. I always do my homework the moment I arrived at home. I love to do my homeworks and seatworks. I can say that I really excelled in class. And yesss!!! I got an honor. My father was very happy for me that he even prepared a small party for that. No one expected that I would have an honor since they knew that I didn't like to study.

I can say that my elementary years are one of the highlights of my life because I was able to get good grades starting from Kindergarten II up to Sixth Grade. I was always on the top list in class. My classmates always give me respect because they know the I have brains. I was first honor in Grade 1, I didn't have an honor in Grade two but I was awarded as the Most Polite student... I already forgotten my award when I was in third grade... I was top 3 in our class when I was in Fourth Grade... I was fourth honor when I was in Fifth grade... I graduated in elementary as the Second Honorable Mention...

Isn't it feels great to have such awards during my younger years? I made my parents feel proud of me.

Sep 26, 2007

my mom

I didn't like my mom the first time that I saw her. Maybe it's the reason that I didn't grow up with her... I was already a toddler or pre-schooler when I first I saw her. I was aloof to her... She left me when I was just a few months old. She went to middle east to work as a domestic helper.

When I was just young, I hate talking to her, I hate to be with her. It's not the reason that I don't really like her, but it's different to be close with her especially when she wasn't the one who took care of me when I was just a baby and I would suddenly see her when I was already 3 or 4 years old. She was like a stranger to me when I first saw her even if my father would tell me that she was my mother. Another reason was maybe we were not able to build a bond with each other like other mother and child relationship used to have. The last reason was, she was always abroad, so maybe that was the reason why I wasn't that close with her.

But when I grew up, I realized that she was a great mother to me. I can't imagine her sacrifices just to send us to a decent school, just to give us food to eat and just to provide us the luxuries in life like cellphone, computer, and even a car. I couldn't believe that she worked really hard just to provide us what we need.

Without my mom, me and my siblings will not be able to graduate from college. I know that my mom really worked hard for us. And I'm so thankful that I used her money and effort in a good way. I know that it's very hard to raise three children all by herself. And I salute her for that.

I am now a graduate of Bachelor of Science in Nursing. Even if I wasn't an outstanding student in class, I know that I still made her feel proud.

I am also a Board passer, even if I wasn't on the top list or I have a high rating, I still made her proud because she can see me that I am also working hard to reach my goals and dreams...

Sep 25, 2007

the first time i met my mom

My mom left me when I was just a few months old. She went abroad to work. I cannot blame her for that because I know that she was thinking for her children's future especially for our education.

I didn't like her the first time that I saw. I was afraid her. Maybe it was because of fear of strangers because I was a toddler or pre-school
then. I wasn't really sure about my age.

All I wanted was my father when I was a child.

first time in manila

When I was first brought to Manila, I didn't know how to speak in Tagalog. I can only speak Ilocano. Every time I remember this, I feel funny inside. My playmates played with me even if I can only speak in Ilocano. But we can understand each other (hahaha).

Eventually, I was able to speak in Ilocano. Maybe its because I was able to adopt to my new environment.

Until now, I still know how to speak in Ilocano. Because it is our dialect at home.

when i was a child

we lived a very simple life when i was just a child... i was born in our province, isabela... my mom left me when i was just a few months old... she had to work abroad for us to survive... my dad was the one who took care of us... i have one sister and a brother... i was the youngest child...

we lived with our grandma and grandpa together with our cousins... their parents were also working abroad... our grandparents served as our real parents that we also call them just like what their sons and daughters call them..

we had a small house in our province but our yard was very large... large enough to plant different kinds of vegetables and trees. i can still remember, we didn't have to buy vegetables in the market because it was readily available in the yard... we can eat any kind of fruit because we just picked them from the trees. i can still remember, we just climb the tree to pick mangoes and eat them together with my grandparents, siblings, and cousins.

i only stayed in our province for about 2 years...

© EXPRESSIONS FROM MY CLUTTERED THOUGHTS.... Made with love by The Dutch Lady Designs.